Can you ever forgive me?
by Nicole Del
Summary: This is a B/V story. This is sometime in the GT season. Very short....tell me what you think but please...constructive criticisms.


Can you ever forgive me 

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ…just borrowing the characters, so don't sue me! 

Can you ever forgive me? 

She opens her eyes and glances around the room. Where the hell am I? She blinks a couple of times to cast off the drowsiness and recognizes her own living room. Oh yeah, I forgot, staying up late talking to my husband. Where is that impossible saiyi-jin? She tries to move her legs only to find it numb. She looks down and remembers, I guess you didn't go very far huh? Bulma smiles softly down at the man's head that rests on her lap while he slept. 

She tries not to move a muscle as she watches his chest rise and fall with every breath he takes. A rare moment indeed, these are the moments I treasure the most. So rare are these times where you're so at peace. So content is your expression that you make me happy to just watch you. I may not know much about saiyi-jin ways but I only have to look at you to know how honorable you warriors are. "Yes you are." She whispered to the sleeping saiyi-jin. "Arrogant and prideful but honorable to the very end. I'm sorry Prince Vegeta for your loss, but I hope you can forgive me for what I'm about to say." 

She grips on to the couch as she tries to keep from caressing his face, hoping to trace the permanent arch of his eyebrows. She licks her lips and starts anew, "I'm glad Vegeta that you were denied your birthright by Frieza. I'm sicken to realize that I thank Dende for making you suffer all those years of your life, for making you the person I met on Namek. I'm sorry that I rejoice from your people's existence and your father's death. The list goes on and on Vegeta, and.....and...." She closes her eyes and tries not to choke on a sob that threatens to pull free from her chest, she swallows it back, not wanting to wake the Saiyi-jin Prince. "And all I can say is..." She watches helplessly as a tear falls and lands into the thick hair of her husband. She watches as it glistens and shines against the light. 

Her lips tremble, "And all these thanks on my part is my selfish way of saying that if those events were not put into motion, then I would never have met you...I would not have experienced what I'm feeling now. Even now, I cannot explain the feeling, I can't put it into words, and greater is it's meaning that the word 'love' seems so small and unsuitable. I feel as if each breath I take is because of you. The very strength that keeps me upright would not exist if you were absent. Is it possible to say that my life began the moment you entered it? I don't know...and the more I ponder, the more I feel confused. NO! Not confused, I feel more 'ashamed' for feeling relief for the events that led to your past sufferings. They say that you are cruel and heartless, but they're wrong, I'm the one who's heartless and cruel, how selfish are my motives." 

She shakes her head gently as all the memories of sleepless nights of nightmares came back to haunt her. She would sit up and try to wake the saiyi-jin that she called her husband for so many years. And after much difficulty he would awaken with pure terror and hatred in his eyes for something that was so vivid to him in a past life, something that molded him into the warrior he was when he first came to Earth. His struggles for control over the grief and pain he went under. He has never openly spoke of the dreams, usually she had to softly urge him to tell her, but some nights are so violent that all she can do is hold him as tightly as he held her. She would cry as she kisses his forehead, crying for him, for he cannot fathom to do so. Sometimes he would release his tensions through their lovemaking, depending on her to receive him, her want for him helping him to let go. 

"I have not done much to please you my prince as you have bestowed on me." She could not hold back anymore and with a shaking hand caress his cheek and watches as a smirk graces his face. She holds her breath, oh please don't wake up, and let me continue. He turns his head and buries the side of his face into her abdomen. She bites down on her bottom lip as his nose nuzzles her stomach, sending chills down her back. She watches for a few seconds as he lays back and relaxes into her again. 

"I don't know what's real anymore Vegeta, all I believe in is you, being here with me." You have changed a great deal, but.... she smiles sadly, I would not want the Prince of Saiyi-jins to change 'that' much; it would destroy who you really are. Fate plays cruel jokes on people; do you think that your presence here is fate? If your people did manage to destroy Frieza back then...you would have your people alive and well, you would be ruling by your father's side but would......would that have stopped our meeting? "I don't know, so all I can say is that this is what happened and this is what I have to live by. You're here, alive and well, sharing with me something I will never let you take back. I'm sorry Vegeta, (sob) but if I had the power to end your pain, to take away the hurt and humiliation you went through...I can't...I won't do it. With that I know that I'm a bigger monster than Frieza will ever be." 

Bulma smiled through her tears as ran her hands through the short black hair. (NOTE: I'm following the cartoon, so in GT Vegeta has short hair, so be nice.) She watches as his face softens a fraction, noting how he has come to familiarize himself with her slightest touch. She draws in a ragged breath. "I hope you forgive me Vegeta." She chuckles softly as the tears keep following the river of earlier salty anguish that ran down her flushed cheeks. "I know that you're sleeping, but I still wanted to say it, maybe because I will never have the courage to say it when your dark gaze stare into my very soul. Forgive me Saiyi-jin Prince, forgive me for hurting you.... in order to have you." As if he heard her, his arms comes up and wraps around her waist pulling her closer to him as he nuzzles her stomach. She smiles gently as she caresses his lips with her fingertips before she lies her hand down on his chest and her other hand entwined in his thick hair. Before she closes her tired eyes she whispers her affections toward her prince and quietly falls asleep in his arms. 

The End. 

Well? What did you think? 

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